So, I don’t know about you ladies but some days I suffer with MUMMMY GUILT! Especially when I am doing the school run and Polly is eating her breakfast in the car because we are running late and I see all the other mums looking like they have it together. Then there is me, just about juggling through life making sure my kid makes it to school.
My daughter Polly is 5 so currently in year 1 and my Alfie has just turned 8 months so having a full night’s sleep is pretty much NEVER! I love my Alfie boy with all my heart but I forgot how hard it was having a little baby especially when going back to work since he was 10 weeks old. Why did I go back so early? Well, there were a few reasons. I have a mortgage, bills to pay for on top of a new born baby, a wedding coming up as well as wanting to buy a new house. No, I don’t like to make things easy for myself!
Every day I say to myself I will be more organised, no more running late and every day it’s the same old story. I am always running out of my house like a crazy woman screaming “HURRY UP Polly”. Then she has a breakdown about something minor (probably that I haven’t done her hair how she wants it), Alfie is just looking at me like I am a crazy woman and I have been running around the house all morning trying to get us all clean and ready so we can get out the house. All while packing 1,000 bags for the day, the school bag/work bag/swimming bag/Alfie’s changing bag/Alfie’s spare clothes bag! Having my hair done and makeup on point for work, those days are long gone. After throwing everything into the car, strapping in both kids, running around the car looking at my watch, getting to school, running for the gates and just about making it on time, I then see the dreaded sign on the school door ‘HOMEWORK DUE’. And I think F***! Another thing I forgot to do! I am pretty sure at this age the home work is for me and not for my 5-year-old!
Polly then comes home from school and gives me the guilt trip “Mum, you forgot to give me money for the Halloween bake sale today” and I am like OK, worst mum of the year award goes to (drum roll) me!
On top of all this, reading and homework of a night time after I have finished work is just a nightmare. I get in with my kids at like 6/6.30pm, feed them, bath them, get them dressed, do housework, wash all the things I haven’t done during the day and have Polly and Alfie in bed by 7/7.30pm. So, fitting some homework in there for me is just physically impossible but then I think the other school mums do it…HOW do they do it???? Am I just a rubbish mum? Do I need to be more organised? I work my butt off so my babies can have a wonderful life, have lovely memories, keep a roof over their head and clothes on their back yet the other super mums have everything done to perfection. Me, I am that mum who takes her child to one of their friend’s parties and either turns up to wrong place, is an hour late or forgets the present. There is no rest for the wicked either, I now spend most of my weekends at kids parties. Polly’s social life is bloody better than mine!
All I know is, for those super mums who I see blissfully strolling on the school run my hat goes off to you. I am sorry for my erratic behaviour but my Polly is probably late for school and I am probably going to be late for work!
One day I will be organised, I like to think that I am not the mum who feels they are failing at life but when I do, I try to remind myself that I have two of the happiest babies you will ever see and they wouldn’t change me for the world and I wouldn’t change my crazy hectic life for nothing!