How To Build Mental Resillience

How To Build Mental Resillience

March 21, 2019

Life is tough! Life is difficult, unpredictable and tiring. The sad truth is, there is nothing that we can do about it. It doesn’t matter who you are, at some point during your life you will inevitably face challenging times.

– Losing your job

– Experiencing bad health

– A relationship breakup

– Even the loss of a family member

There’s nothing we can do to prevent external events from happening, but we can prepare a ourselves for them!

We can do this by building resilience.




Resilience is the ability to bounce back, pick yourself up and continue moving forward. The more resilient you are more you be able to handle disappointment, failures and pain.

The opposite is also true, the less resilience you are the more fragile you will become. This means that just about everything can upset you.

– Nasty comments

– Bullies

– Unrealistic expectations

– People in general

– And even the weather!

When you allow everything around you to upset you, you will spend a lot of your time frustrated and hurt, And the more time you spend frustrated and in pain (it should go without saying), you will won’t be living a happy and fulfilling life.

“We can’t change the world around us, but we can change our perception of the world around us.”


Building resilience

Here are a few quick tips I can help you get started the building resilience so that life’s little challenges no longer impact your self-esteem or happiness.


1. Perspective:

Getting perspective means that You can step away from the situation and look at the situation objectively. The more objectively you can look at the situation, the less emotional impact the situation will have on you. A simple way of gaining perspective is to look at the situation and ask logical questions rather than emotion based questions.


– What is really going on here?

– How bad is this problem really?

– What is the solution?

– Am I being overly dramatic?

– What’s the worst thing that could happen?

More often than not, We can amplify the situation, Believing it to be much worse than it actually is.

Gaining perspective is the first step to putting us back in control.


2. Toughen up:

Personally, I hate the phrases ‘man-up’, ‘Just get on with it’ and ‘pull yourself together’. These throwaway statements can have a detrimental affect when used incorrectly. However, when it comes to building resilience we do need to toughen up. Life will continue to throw challenges at us from all different directions, meaning that we need to be able to handle whatever life throws at us.

Toughening up, needs to be treated as a strategic process, in which we build resilience over time, rather than a throwaway statement used to shame us into being better. Mental toughness comes from pushing ourselves beyond our limits. After all, if you never push yourself, how do you even know What you’re capable of? This is where ‘exposure therapy’ comes into play.


I use to worry about what other people thought of me. Their negative comments, harsh criticisms and judgement of me would be enough to knock my confidence and prevent me from pursuing my goals.

The only reason that these comments impacted my choices, was because I didn’t have enough mental resilience to be able to deal with them.

To overcome this, I went live on Twitter every day for three months.

I knew that I would be faced with Internet trolls, and I knew that I would be putting myself in the firing line of their attack’s.

As I went live, the negative comments started coming through. But the more I read them, the more resilience I built.

Exposing myself to the fear is what help me to overcome the fear!

Action steps:

Slowly expose yourself to do things that you fear the most and you too will soon start to build and an shakable, resilient mindset!


3.Take control:

There are only two things in life that we can control: your thoughts and your actions. Building mental resilience is about taking control of the things that you can control in your life, and letting go of the things that you can’t.


– you can’t control the weather.

– But you can control whether or not you allow rain to ruin your day.

– You can’t control someone else’s opinion of you.

– but you can control whether or not you allow their opinion to upset you.

– You can’t get a six pack overnight.

– But you can’t generate the willpower and strength of character to persistently workout each and every day, until you achieve your goal.

Take control of the things that you can, and let go of the things that you cannot.



Put these three simple little techniques into practice and consistently work at them. If you do so, over time you will start to build mental resilience so that you can handle all of life‘s challenges.

The greater your efforts, the greater your reward!


As always, if you do you have any questions you can always find me on Instagram.

Jeff spires

Insta: jeff_spires


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